If I know one thing about being human, it’s that we need to be in healthy relationships to be truly happy. Even the biggest introverts among us crave, like we crave air and water, connections to other people that make us feel loved, accepted, and safe. Unfortunately, the other thing about being human is that we seem perpetually engaged in conflict, and the relationships we depend on to find joy and connection can end up being a source of deep sadness and pain.
Our experience of relationships begins, not surprisingly, at ground zero with our primary caregivers. The impressions and ideas we carry away with us from our earliest years impact us in ways conscious and unconscious for the rest of our lives. This may seem like a grim sentence— parents can be fantastically unhealthy individuals— but with the right treatment, those old relational styles can be untangled and given a major upgrade.
If there is a subject that is ripe for talk therapy, this is it. Whether we are struggling with our marriage, our parents, our kids, our friends, people at work, or even our relationship to ourselves, sorting out what our fears are, challenging our unspoken beliefs, and deciding what we really need and how best to get those needs met, helps us create the lives we want.
If your relationships aren’t working for you, maybe it’s time to figure out why. Therapy can help you see where you’ve been spinning your wheels, and give you a boost out of what I call the “primal muck”. Without our realizing it, some part of us is usually stuck in the past, replaying old hurts and hoping to get a different result. But, as Maya Angelou famously said, you “do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” Let Sound Mind Counseling help you do better.