Disclaimer: The author is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor but not an IFS-certified therapist.

Ideas about therapy, much like trends in any area of human interest, come in and out of fashion. What was once standard therapeutic practice—meeting your therapist at least three times a week to be psychoanalyzed while lying face away from him on a couch—is now largely out of vogue… not to mention the outdated expectation that the therapist be a man!

I believe all therapeutic modalities have value (except those that dismiss women’s issues and competency) and, as such, consider myself an integrationist. “Truth is one,” the well-known Hindu saying goes, “but paths are many.”

IFS, or Internal Family Systems, developed by Evanston native Dick Schwartz in the 1980s, has recently gained significant attention in the therapeutic world—and in my own mind—and for good reason. It offers a unique and accessible way to explore and learn about the self while healing old wounds. I offer the long-ish Wikipedia definition of it here—please read all the way through!

IFS posits that the mind is made up of multiple parts, and underlying them is a person’s core or true Self. Like members of a family, a person’s inner parts can take on extreme roles or subpersonalities. Each part has its own perspective, interests, memories, and viewpoint. A core tenet of IFS is that every part has a positive intent, even if its actions are counterproductive or cause dysfunction. There is no need to fight with, coerce, or eliminate parts; the IFS method promotes internal connection and harmony to bring the mind back into balance.

IFS therapy aims to heal wounded parts and restore mental equilibrium. The first step is to access the core Self and then, from there, understand the different parts in order to heal them.

In the IFS model, there are three general types of parts:

• Exiles represent psychological trauma, often from childhood, and they carry pain and fear. Exiles may become isolated from the other parts and polarize the system. Managers and Firefighters try to protect a person’s consciousness by preventing the Exiles’ pain from surfacing.
• Managers take on a preemptive, protective role. They influence how a person interacts with the external world, working to prevent harm or emotional flooding.
• Firefighters emerge when Exiles break through and demand attention. They work to divert attention away from the Exiles’ hurt and shame, often leading to impulsive or numbing behaviors like overeating, drug use, or excessive working. They may also use more subtle distractions such as overmedicating or perfectionism.

Here’s a simpler definition in my own words: IFS hypothesizes that we are all born “whole,” and that as we move through life and experience inevitable traumas, two things happen: first, the hurt parts of us split off and go into hiding, and second, other parts step forward to protect those wounded parts.

If this is true, then there is a world of “selves” within each of us that together comprise the whole. By connecting to and understanding the origin story and role of each of these “selves” or “parts,” we can cultivate life-changing insight, compassion, and healing. To dive deeper, I recommend going straight to the source—Dick Schwartz’s book No Bad Parts: How the Internal Family Systems Model Changes Everything. But even without reading his book or working with an IFS therapist, the fascinating world of our inner parts is accessible to all of us—because it is us.

A Simple Way to Explore Your Deepest Selves

1. Find a quiet place to sit or lie down. Make sure you’re comfortable but not so relaxed that you’ll fall asleep. Gently close your eyes and focus on your breath. Your mind will likely light up with thoughts and worries—that’s okay. Just notice them and let them come and go.
2. Tune in to your body. Do a body scan from head to toe. Move your awareness slowly through your skull, face, jaw, neck, shoulders, chest, belly, pelvis, arms, hands, legs, and feet. See if any area draws your attention. Don’t overthink it—the first place your attention lands is the right place to begin.
3. Focus on this area. Try to remember when you first noticed discomfort or tension here. How “old” is this sensation? It might take you back to early childhood, or to a more recent challenge. Envision the version of yourself from that time. Sit with this image. Where are you? Who is with you? What are you wearing? What are you feeling?
4. Connect with this part. Ask what it needs or what it wants to say. Let it know you’re here to listen. If it’s hard to connect, there may be other parts getting in the way. Ask those parts if they can step back just for now. Then ask again: what does this part want to help you do? If an image or feeling arises, observe it. If nothing comes, that’s okay too. You may notice emotions—try to name them.
5. Meet the exile. If you’ve connected with a protective part, ask if there’s another part it’s protecting—what IFS calls an exile. If so, you may get a sense of an even earlier version of yourself. Again, try to visualize this version of yourself. Gently approach this part, asking if you can sit with it. As before, ask what it needs or wants to say. Listen with compassion.
6. Thank your parts. When you’re ready, thank the exile for allowing your presence and tell it you’ll return and that it is not alone. Return to the protector and thank it for its efforts, even if they’ve had negative consequences for you. Let it know you’ll come back too. Invite any parts you have asked to remain in the waiting room to return. Tell all of your parts what you want for them—peace, closure, safety.
7. Return to the present. Bring your attention back to your breath. Deepen it. Gently open your eyes.

You can return to this practice as often as you’d like. Over time, you’ll get to know some of your parts while discovering new ones. There really is an entire universe within each of us. Each time you connect with a part, you deepen your understanding of—and connection to—your Self.

This practice might not seem natural or easy right away, and that’s okay! If you feel stuck or blocked, I recommend finding some professional guidance. You can locate a certified IFS practitioner at https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners. Even if it does come easily, working with a professional can offer even greater insight. I’ve done extensive IFS work both with a therapist and on my own, and found both deeply beneficial.

These days, therapy is often focused on “problem-solving” and putting “tools in our toolbox,” which is undeniably useful and productive—but it can also miss something important: the opportunity to have a spiritual experience. By spiritual, I don’t mean religious—I simply mean a conscious awareness of one’s spirit or soul. As impractical as that may sound, I believe it is central to true healing and to living the life we’re meant to live.

– Erica Leibrandt, LCPC, RYT

1. Find a quiet place to sit or lie down. Make sure you’re comfortable but not so relaxed that you’ll fall asleep. Gently close your eyes and focus on your breath. Your mind will likely light up with thoughts and worries—that’s okay. Just notice them and let them come and go.
2. Tune in to your body. Do a body scan from head to toe. Move your awareness slowly through your skull, face, jaw, neck, shoulders, chest, belly, pelvis, arms, hands, legs, and feet. See if any area draws your attention. Don’t overthink it—the first place your attention lands is the right place to begin.
3. Focus on this area. Try to remember when you first noticed discomfort or tension here. How “old” is this sensation? It might take you back to early childhood, or to a more recent challenge. Envision the version of yourself from that time. Sit with this image. Where are you? Who is with you? What are you wearing? What are you feeling?
4. Connect with this part. Ask what it needs or what it wants to say. Let it know you’re here to listen. If it’s hard to connect, there may be other parts getting in the way. Ask those parts if they can step back just for now. Then ask again: what does this part want to help you do? If an image or feeling arises, observe it. If nothing comes, that’s okay too. You may notice emotions—try to name them.
5. Meet the exile. If you’ve connected with a protective part, ask if there’s another part it’s protecting—what IFS calls an exile. If so, you may get a sense of an even earlier version of yourself. Again, try to visualize this version of yourself. Gently approach this part, asking if you can sit with it. As before, ask what it needs or wants to say. Listen with compassion.
6. Thank your parts. When you’re ready, thank the exile for allowing your presence and tell it you’ll return and that it is not alone. Return to the protector and thank it for its efforts, even if they’ve had negative consequences for you. Let it know you’ll come back too. Invite any parts you have asked to remain in the waiting room to return. Tell all of your parts what you want for them—peace, closure, safety.
7. Return to the present. Bring your attention back to your breath. Deepen it. Gently open your eyes.

You can return to this practice as often as you’d like. Over time, you’ll get to know some of your parts while discovering new ones. There really is an entire universe within each of us. Each time you connect with a part, you deepen your understanding of—and connection to—your Self.

This practice might not seem natural or easy right away, and that’s okay! If you feel stuck or blocked, I recommend finding some professional guidance. You can locate a certified IFS practitioner at https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners. Even if it does come easily, working with a professional can offer even greater insight. I’ve done extensive IFS work both with a therapist and on my own, and found both deeply beneficial.

These days, therapy is often focused on “problem-solving” and putting “tools in our toolbox,” which is undeniably useful and productive—but it can also miss something important: the opportunity to have a spiritual experience. By spiritual, I don’t mean religious—I simply mean a conscious awareness of one’s spirit or soul. As impractical as that may sound, I believe it is central to true healing and to living the life we’re meant to live.

– Erica Leibrandt, LCPC, RYT