Back in “the day”—just 15 or 20 years ago—looking for great therapy was very different. For one, it was often something we kept to ourselves. Admitting to mental health struggles still carried a significant stigma. And even if we didn’t care so much about that, we usually didn’t have many choices about the kind of therapy we received. It was just therapy—typically talk-based, with little discussion of how our therapist was trained or what their clinical perspective might be.

Thankfully, times have changed. While some stigma remains, it’s far less pervasive. I’ve seen a trend in young people asking their parents for therapy, often because it’s so normalized among their peers. (I wish I had felt that way at 15 when my parents sent me to my first therapist. The rush of shame and anger I experienced made me shut down for the entirety of my time with her. I often think about that poor woman and what she had to go through to get a single word out of teenaged me!)

Beyond reduced stigma, therapy options have dramatically expanded. Today, there’s a modality to suit nearly every person and every kind of problem. But with that abundance comes a new challenge: How do you choose the right kind of therapy for you?

Between Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), Psychodynamic Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Somatic Therapy, Gestalt, Art Therapy, and many more, the choices can feel overwhelming.

Some people debate which approach is “best,” but I don’t. I subscribe to the idea that there are many paths, but one truth. Though that phrase has religious roots, I apply it to therapy: if a particular approach leads you to deeper meaning, greater self-awareness, improved relationships, or whatever your goals may be—that’s good therapy.

To help you start figuring out what kind of therapy might work best for you, here are ten questions to consider. Your answers may evolve depending on your life stage, needs, and goals. I’ve also included suggestions for modalities that may be a good match for each.

1. What is the main issue or challenge I want to address in therapy?

(e.g., anxiety, trauma, relationships, depression, life transitions)

2. Am I more interested in understanding my past and its impact, or focused on solving current problems?

• Past-focused: Psychodynamic, IFS, trauma-informed therapies
• Present/future-focused: CBT, Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

3. Do I want to explore deep emotional patterns, or am I looking for tools and strategies I can use right away?

• Deep exploration: IFS, Psychodynamic, EMDR
• Skills-based: DBT, CBT, SFBT

4. Have I experienced trauma or difficult childhood experiences that still affect me?

• If yes, consider trauma-informed approaches like EMDR, IFS, Trauma-Focused CBT (TF-CBT), or Somatic Therapy

5. Do I tend to struggle most in my relationships—with family, partners, or others?

• Consider: Attachment-Based Therapy, Relational-Cultural Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), or IFS

6. Do I feel overwhelmed by emotions, or have difficulty regulating them?

• Consider: DBT, ACT, Compassion-Focused Therapy

7. Am I seeking structured, short-term therapy or open-ended, exploratory work?

• Short-term: CBT, SFBT, Behavioral Activation (BA), Motivational Interviewing (MI)
• Open-ended: IFS, Psychodynamic, Relational-Cultural Therapy

8. How important is it for me to feel like I’m working toward clear, measurable goals?

• Very important: SFBT, CBT, Problem-Solving Therapy (PST)
• Less important: Narrative, Humanistic, Psychodynamic

9. Am I curious about how different “parts” of me (like the inner critic or inner child) influence my life?

• If yes, consider Internal Family Systems (IFS)

10. What kind of relationship do I want with my therapist—more collaborative and coaching-style, or more reflective and interpretive?

• Collaborative/coaching-style: SFBT, CBT, MI
• Reflective/deep: Psychodynamic, IFS, Narrative

As you can probably tell, many of these questions come down to one key theme: Do you want to go deep, or focus on the here and now?

A Note from a Psychodynamic Practitioner

As someone trained in Psychodynamic Therapy, I tend to believe that most of today’s struggles have roots in the past—and that to create real change, we can’t ignore what came before. As Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” That said, not everyone shares this belief, and not everyone is wired for deep inner work or “navel gazing.” The important thing is to know yourself well enough to choose the type of therapy that feels right for you.

Beyond Modality: The Importance of Fit

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention something even more important than choosing a therapy style: the fit between therapist and client.

We can get caught up in finding the “right” modality, but research consistently shows that the relationship between client and therapist is the single most important factor in successful therapy. If you feel seen, understood, and respected by your therapist—if there’s genuine trust and rapport—all other considerations may take a back seat.

But how do you know if someone is a good fit just by reading a bio or scrolling past their profile picture? This is where what I call “dating therapists” comes in. You may need to:

• Meet with multiple therapists before finding your person
• Listen to your gut, even if someone looks great on paper

Your gut your smartest guide—ignore it at your peril.

So, is it easy to find the right kind of therapy and therapist? Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. But with less stigma, better insurance coverage, and more accessible options than ever before, the odds are with you.

And if you’ve made it all the way to the end of this article? Maybe this is your sign to give therapy a try. I know from firsthand experience: good therapy can change your life.

Written by Erica Leibrandt, LCPC, RYT

7. Am I seeking structured, short-term therapy or open-ended, exploratory work?

• Short-term: CBT, SFBT, Behavioral Activation (BA), Motivational Interviewing (MI)
• Open-ended: IFS, Psychodynamic, Relational-Cultural Therapy

8. How important is it for me to feel like I’m working toward clear, measurable goals?

• Very important: SFBT, CBT, Problem-Solving Therapy (PST)
• Less important: Narrative, Humanistic, Psychodynamic

9. Am I curious about how different “parts” of me (like the inner critic or inner child) influence my life?

• If yes, consider Internal Family Systems (IFS)

10. What kind of relationship do I want with my therapist—more collaborative and coaching-style, or more reflective and interpretive?

• Collaborative/coaching-style: SFBT, CBT, MI
• Reflective/deep: Psychodynamic, IFS, Narrative

As you can probably tell, many of these questions come down to one key theme: Do you want to go deep, or focus on the here and now?

A Note from a Psychodynamic Practitioner

As someone trained in Psychodynamic Therapy, I tend to believe that most of today’s struggles have roots in the past—and that to create real change, we can’t ignore what came before. As Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” That said, not everyone shares this belief, and not everyone is wired for deep inner work or “navel gazing.” The important thing is to know yourself well enough to choose the type of therapy that feels right for you.

Beyond Modality: The Importance of Fit

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention something even more important than choosing a therapy style: the fit between therapist and client.

We can get caught up in finding the “right” modality, but research consistently shows that the relationship between client and therapist is the single most important factor in successful therapy. If you feel seen, understood, and respected by your therapist—if there’s genuine trust and rapport—all other considerations may take a back seat.

But how do you know if someone is a good fit just by reading a bio or scrolling past their profile picture? This is where what I call “dating therapists” comes in. You may need to:

• Meet with multiple therapists before finding your person
• Listen to your gut, even if someone looks great on paper

Your gut your smartest guide—ignore it at your peril.

So, is it easy to find the right kind of therapy and therapist? Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. But with less stigma, better insurance coverage, and more accessible options than ever before, the odds are with you.

And if you’ve made it all the way to the end of this article? Maybe this is your sign to give therapy a try. I know from firsthand experience: good therapy can change your life.

Written by Erica Leibrandt, LCPC, RYT