The world around us is becoming more and more dependent on devices and their screens. While online services offer incredible accessibility benefits at our fingertips—such as online shopping and telehealth consults with a primary care physician—they also provide a justification to remain disconnected from one another. The spontaneous conversation with the folks behind you in the grocery line has been replaced with quiet self-checkout. Reaching out to a friend to connect in person can often feel strenuous compared to picking up the phone and writing a quick text message. While these options have contextual advantages that shouldn’t be overlooked, they also serve to pull us away from one another, and push us further toward screens.

Teletherapy, or virtual therapy sessions, has soared in popularity since 2020. Flexibility was the key word of the COVID-19 pandemic—teachers, healthcare providers, therapists, and many more professionals had to transition their work into virtual space, even if they had zero experience doing so beforehand. Teletherapy sessions embodied the flexibility therapists demonstrated during the pandemic.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, I was a graduate student living in Baltimore. As soon as shutdowns began, I immediately transitioned to Zoom-based therapy sessions with my therapist. During the first couple of months, all I could think about was how fortunate I felt—and was—to be able to talk to and see my therapist during one of the scariest times in our collective lives. After almost half a year, though, I started fixating on how different it felt to connect with my therapist over Zoom as opposed to in person. I began noticing how often we talked over each other, something that hadn’t been an issue when we met face-to-face. I also realized how difficult it was for me to maintain eye contact with another person on Zoom while talking—something I attributed to the sudden surge in videoconferencing in 2020.

After day-in and day-out Zoom calls, it finally hit me that our unique human flexibility made all of our virtual interactions possible, but our preparation for these interactions was nearly non-existent. We jumped into the videoconferencing world with the best of intentions, but we didn’t have time to consider the nuances of what we would miss without face-to-face connections. That’s why, after the spread of COVID-19 lessened and it became safer to socialize in person, I transitioned back to in-person therapy sessions. This experience has shaped not only my perceptions of being a client in therapy, but now, being a therapist myself.

Therapy is an intimate process. I view it as an exploration of the client’s inner world, a place for the soul to be seen. My personal lens of therapy almost necessitates this process happening in person. While important and meaningful work can be done via teletherapy—and it is sometimes the best or only option for a client—whenever possible, I prefer my clients to show up in person for our sessions. The value of a shared physical presence and fewer distractions lead to, in my experience, a more powerful therapeutic experience.

When I met virtually with my therapist, I noticed that we began talking over each other more than we ever did in person. This observation highlighted the significance of nonverbal communication. So much of what we communicate goes unsaid and is expressed through eye movement and gaze, facial expressions, and body language. I frequently ask about my clients’ nonverbal behaviors in session, which often leads to important discussions surrounding their thoughts or feelings on an issue. Much of this nonverbal communication goes unnoticed on teletherapy platforms—not only because it is harder to perceive, but also because our gazes are not necessarily fixed on one another while video chatting. Nonverbal communication deepens our bonds and reveals things we cannot always articulate with language, and it is crucial to a therapeutic relationship.

Another benefit I have experienced through in-person therapy is a lack of distractions. At Sound Mind Counseling, our spaces are designed to enhance intimate communication—the therapist and client often sit across from each other in comfortable seats with no screens or other distractions in sight. At home, we are far more likely to be distracted by our surroundings (children, pets, phones), or even by the screen we’re using to communicate. I myself have to work much harder to remain distraction-free when I take virtual sessions from home compared to the office. We are all only human, and our brains crave distraction—especially during tough conversation. But working through tough conversation is how we grow.

Despite everything in-person therapy can offer, teletherapy remains an important, and sometimes only, way for many people to receive care. While I prefer the connection that exists between therapist and client in person, I have had equally valuable experiences with my teletherapy clients. Still, if you are in a position to decide between teletherapy or in-person sessions, I will always encourage connecting with your therapist in person.