You know the feeling: you wake up and see the day stretching before you as a long gray road that must be marched down step after uninspiring step. 
The longing to stay in bed is overpowering. The need to transition from here to whatever you are supposed to be doing looms over you like a thunderstorm, 
and you struggle to care about the consequences of getting wet.

Unless you are a Disney character, it’s likely that you experience this sometimes—or a lot of times (or all the time). But lying in bed like this, feeling frozen 
or demotivated, actually presents us with an opportunity. It is a soft and subtle opportunity that leads to self‑compassion, and we can take advantage of it 
even in our most compromised states. Approaching moments like these differently may not make getting out of bed easier, but it can give you deeper insight 
into what’s happening, and alleviate the guilt, shame, anger, loneliness, or disconnectedness we normally feel in this scenario.

Step One: (the hardest step)
Make sure you have a few extra minutes—or a lot of extra minutes—to lie in bed tomorrow. Set your alarm early. You’re going to need time just to lie there.

Step Two:
Do not—and I can’t emphasize this enough—do not let yourself grab your phone the minute you awaken. As soon as you do, this opportunity vanishes.

Step Three:
Lie there. Really let go of everything that’s coming next and just let yourself feel heavy and relaxed (if you can). Feel all of the sensations in your body. 
Where are you holding tension? Don’t try to make any adjustments if you don’t want to. Just observe. Let yourself rest. That may sound silly—after all, 
you’ve just slept for an entire night—but chances are, you still don’t feel rested. This is because many of us are in a chronic state of nervous system 
dysregulation such that even in our sleep, parts of our minds are still scanning for danger. Let yourself have these precious minutes and remind yourself that you are safe.

If you can, try to breathe into your body wherever it feels heavy, tight, or painful in any way. Imagine breathing light into those places and releasing darkness.

Step Four:
Feel your emotions. Whatever they are, do not fight them, justify them, or push them away—just name them. Sometimes it’s hard to name emotions with the nuance 
that truly reflects the experience of having them. If that’s true for you, take a look at this feelings wheel the night before you try this exercise to broaden 
your emotional vocabulary.

Here is the Emotions Wheel:

Let yourself wander around in this emotional place. Notice conflicting emotions, and how different parts of you might be feeling different things. Consider the 
biggest blocks you have about starting your day. Why do they seem so overwhelming? Do you need to offer yourself some kindness about being overwhelmed and 
reassure yourself that everything will be okay? Do you need to pull your thoughts in and break the day down into smaller pieces, so it doesn’t feel so terrible 
to engage in it? Do you need to remind yourself that you are strong, you got through yesterday, and there’s a high probability that you’ll get through today as well?

Repeat steps three and four as needed until you feel calm rather than frozen. The original negative emotions may still be there, but they will be tempered by 
this exercise, which connects all three parts of the brain: the brainstem (or primitive brain), the limbic system (the emotional brain), and the prefrontal cortex 
(the executive functioning part of the brain). By connecting these parts, we turn off our fight, flight, flee, or (in the case of lying paralyzed in bed) freeze 
response that our brains move into when we perceive a threat—such as embarking on the tasks of a day that we are dreading.

This is one of those things that gets more effective the more we practice, so if your first venture doesn’t produce dramatic results, keep trying! Learning how 
to create a state of homeostasis in our minds and bodies is one of the most important and meaningful gifts we can give ourselves. Other effective ways to do this are:

• Deep breathing – Slow, steady breaths calm the nervous system and rebalance oxygen/CO₂ levels.
• Hydration – Drinking water supports cellular balance and reduces stress load.
• Movement – Gentle exercise (walking, stretching) helps regulate hormones and circulates energy.
• Balanced nutrition – Eating whole, nutrient-dense foods stabilizes blood sugar and mood.
• Sleep – Adequate rest restores energy, immune balance, and brain function.
• Grounding – Physical connection (bare feet on grass, mindful touch, or focusing on senses) lowers stress response.
• Meditation – Brings awareness to the present, soothing the stress response.
• Connection/Therapy – Talking with someone supportive or engaging socially rebalances oxytocin and cortisol.
• Temperature regulation – Taking a warm shower, using a cold compress, or stepping outside can reset physiological systems.
• Routine – Maintaining daily rhythms (meals, sleep, activity) reinforces the body’s natural balance.

Because the world is such a stressful place—no longer designed to naturally support our mental health—we each must take the initiative to create healthy internal 
environments as best we can. It is no small task, but it can make the difference between feeling like we are alone on a sinking ship, or feeling grace and gratitude 
for this beautiful, albeit challenging, life that we have been given.